Saturday, February 7, 2009

Yet Another Reason Why I Love Starbucks

For some reason, strange things always seem to abound when I'm at a Starbucks (see previous post). It's probably because I've been spending so much time there lately since that's become my study place of choice. Not only are they open late, but if you register a Starbucks card online, you get two free hours of WiFi's pretty cool!

So I'm studying there last night and I decide to order two drinks. I plan on getting a tea and a caramel macchiato for a friend. I get up there to order and ask for the tea first.

Cashier: Do you want one tea bag or two?

Me: Do you charge by tea bag or by drink size?

Cashier: By tea bag.

Me: Okay, can I have two please, but only put one in the drink for now. I'll use the other one after I finish my first one and just come back and ask for more hot water...can you do that or will you charge me again for water? Because last time I was given two tea bags at the same time without being asked and the tea was way too strong for me and I don't like strong tea. And then I forgot to come back for more hot water.

There is a moment of silence. The cashier blinks a few times and then says, "You're a very complicated woman, aren't you?" (This was more of a statement on his part rather than a question).

That immediately brought to mind the famous cafe scene in "Sleepless in Seattle" where Meg Ryan is ordering her food but being uber picky.

Me: No, not really...usually my drink is pretty straightforward.

At this point, the barista who's standing a few feet away from the cashier leans over and asks me what my second drink is so he can start preparing it.

Me: Do you have 2% milk?

Barista: Yes.

Me: I'd like a 2% caramel macchiato please.

Barista: You know, 2% is what we normally use by default for our drinks.

Apparently I'm ignorant of the Starbuckian way of life and what's considered standard.

Me: Oh, well you know, at the other Starbucks I go to by my work, I usually get nonfat so I say nonfat, but lately I've been getting soy. I didn't realize 2% was the norm.

The barista is now looking at me like I'm diseased.

Barista: You're what I call one of our "special needs" customers.

I'm trying so hard not to burst out laughing. Special needs, for reals? Seriously, who comes up with this stuff?

You make me sound like I'm handicapped or something. Usually I just order a soy caramel complicated is that?

Barista: (ponders) I guess you're not a special needs customer then.

Well thank goodness for that assessment; my life is now complete. He then gets suspicious because he's fixing a second drink for me that's clearly not soy.

Barista: If that's not for you, then who is it for?

Me: (I point to the far table) It's for my friend who's sitting over there.

The cashier then rings me up for my two drinks...but while sounding like the guy from Moviefone the whole time (i.e., "Hellooo and Welcome to Moviefone!").

[Moviefone voice]: "And hereeeeeeeeeeeeee's your teaaaaaaaaa. That will be five twenty oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Thank you for shopping aaaaaaaaaat Starbuckssssssssssss."

It was crazy...he sounded JUST like Mr. Moviefone. I asked him if he was a voice actor. It was hilarious. Mr. Moviefone then announced that my other drink was ready too.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is why that particular Starbucks is now my favorite one to study's open late and Mr. Moviefone works there!

I think the next time I go there, I will order a 'double tall, nonfat, no-whip, sugar-free white chocolate mocha with two pumps of syrup, no foam, and extra hot' just to show them exactly what it really means to be complicated. ;)


  1. I hate Starbucks. But this Barista sounds cool. That's what I miss. Playfulness. People in VA need to pick their wedgies and just relax already.

    A ray of light in this town was the Lebanese restaurant we went to last night. So delicious and the waiter and the owner were the nicest people. Talking about a complicated woman, I took longer than the other 7 people with me to order.


    Another light from this weekend was the movie "He's Just Not That Into You."

    Anyway, this comment is so long I should have just called you.


  2. This is what I'd consider a "special needs" customer,


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